How to Fight Back Against the Self-Sabotage Harming Your Business and Career

Are you a person who tidies their desk several times a day to avoid getting on with a task in hand? Do you obsess over clearing email inboxes before starting a new task? Or do you procrastinate over something for so long that you fail to get it done?

Congratulations, you are self-sabotaging!

Apparently self-sabotage is something most of us are guilty of during our careers, particularly if we decide to embark on a new challenge that gets us out of our comfort zones. We start to go full steam ahead and then the tiny voice in the back of our head starts sowing the seeds of doubt, warning that you could be setting yourself up for a fall, or that your competition is doing a much better job.

Speaking to an audience of CompTIA Community members at a UK & Ireland regional meeting in Birmingham, business coach Teresa Heath-Wareing shared some pointers on what signs to watch out for and how to break the self-sabotage cycle.

In one example, she shared a former client, a specialist in the education space, offered parents training on how to teach their own children self-esteem. The individual launched a podcast, invested in new recording and lighting equipment, upgraded her office space and began recording some interviews.

However, she then spent the next two years tweaking, changing and editing the material, always claiming the launch was around the corner. But in the meantime, one of her peers launched a podcast, and then shortly afterwards one of her competitors did the same with similar content. As far as Heath-Wareing was aware, there still was no podcast from her former client.

“My client was so indecisive at every step, and she was self-sabotaging all the way,” she said. “Why do we do it? It happens every time we create a goal—take a diet for example. You promise yourself you are going to eat healthily and are not going to eat cake, then you eat the cake and enjoy it, and the shame kicks in. It is a pattern, and what you need is a pattern interrupt to stop the self-sabotage.”

Feeling the Fear

Self-sabotage is our brain’s way of keeping us safe, Heath-Wareing explained.

“Our brains feel the fear. In the past it was to save us from being eaten by a lion, but now it can be just standing on stage, pitching something or networking. It’s our brain telling us ‘We need to get out of this situation,’” she said.

“What is it keeping us safe from?” she asked. “This could be fear of resentment, fear of shame, feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth, a fear of criticism, a desire for perfectionism, fear of failure or embarrassment, or even a fear of success.”

These fears lead to a raft of what ifs, she explained: “What if people say horrible things? What if I go viral, what if I am introduced as a great success and I absolutely suck? The negativity seemingly never stops because ultimately people don’t want to come across or be seen as vulnerable.”

So how can we break this perpetual cycle?

Mind Over Matter

Heath-Wareing said a key to stopping self-sabotage is slowing down and identifying your own pattern—how are you self-sabotaging? What avoidance tactics do you employ to avoid getting something done?

Once you have done this, you need to question yourself:

• How is this keeping me safe?
• What feelings am I trying to avoid?
• Ask yourself how you could make things look different—what if you didn’t feel this way?

Another tip Heath-Wareing suggested is the One Percent Shift.

“Instead of just saying ‘I’m going to eat lettuce and drink water all day, just say ‘instead of having a full English, I’m going to have a smaller version of the full English’,” she said. “That way, you are making one tiny shift—a one percent change. Then the next day, you make another tiny change, and your brain actually says, ‘I can stick to this,’ and you get one percent closer to your goal every day.”

In the business world, this would translate as working in a different location to avoid tidying the office or keeping your phone in another room if you are addicted to emails or social media, for example.

Self-trust is also another huge factor, she added.

“Trust that when you say you are going to do something, you do it. Find ways to build trust with yourself and keep a record of all the times that you do,” she said. As humans, we are great at forgetting past goals, but by keeping a record, we can see just how far we have come.”

Break the negative cycle and create a culture of process efficiency.
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